Friday, August 10, 2007

The people who...

I'm thinking of a quote.

It doesn't have to be a quote that already exists -- it could be a new quote. Something profound that someone else hasn't thought of yet.

I'm thinking it should start with "The people who..."

But then I can't think of the rest.

The gist of it is "the people who are there for you when times are rough for you will still fuck you over if the time comes when they have to cover their own asses."

But that just doesn't sound very profound.

I've been begging the Ass Dean to tell me why the two big honchos have been noncommunicado since that ugly report came out. Finally, today, he told me. Well, sort of. He told me that what is happening now (reorganization, with me involved, at the helm, and making reorganization decisions and advising him) is not what was supposed to happen after the report was released.

He basically told me, without actually speaking the words, that the knee-jerk decision by these two trusted pseudo-allies was for me to be canned.

New Ass Dean said no way, we have to use the strengths we have. We can't just blow the whole place up and start over. Let's build on what we have. And this is supposedly what brings us up to where we are now.

I'm sure one of the other reasons they pulled the punch is that they were probably told that if a lawyer got wind of the whole thing, they'd be toast.

It takes me back to the conversations I've had with these two over the past year -- "oh don't worry, Frisky, you won't be held responsible for the mess that was left" and "thanks for coming back and trying to clean things up" and "don't put too much pressure on yourself -- it could take a couple of years to clean up this mess" and my personal favourite -- "There'll be a big reward for you when this is all said and done!"

So, the people who reassure you that you won't be left holding the bag are full of shit.

Nope, still doesn't have the panache I'm looking for here.

So, now I know they were actually going to respond to the Finance guy's behaviour by firing me, before the new Ass Dean came to my rescue.

Or did he? Maybe it would have been better if they'd done it? Maybe I'd be, like, the Norma Rae of the 21st century by now? Surely, they would know by now how much I had actually accomplished. Most definitely, I'd be moving through legal channels by now, on my way to a big freakin' payoff!

Aw, I can't be hard on him. He really is a sweetheart and pretty much saved my ass. He told me today because he knew I was worried and he was gentle and compassionate. He reassured me that we were going to work together to make this better, and that he is the only one who truly understands what I've been through because he is going through the same thing. I should focus on the future and all the good that we'll be able to do together. He knows I'm not in a position to complain about things that need to be done, but he is, and he'll do it for both of us.

The people who tell you they're on your side either are or they are just saying they are.

Oh, fuck it. I'm just not good at this. How about "Shit rolls downhill" or "Trust no one" or "Live til you die."

You know what I really need? Six numbers between 1 and 49.