Friday, April 28, 2006

How did I get this fat?

Every now and then, this happens to me, so it probably happens to you every now and then, too.
You go to someone's house, and you're standing there, in their kitchen or whatever, talking to the person, and suddenly, you see something move in the corner of your eye.

You look, and OMG, you double over laughing. It's a cat, and it's HUGE! You point and laugh, and say stuff like "what do you feed that thing?" etc, and the cat stops and looks at you as if to say "oh, just go fuck yourself, human."

Today, the outgoing inept, bumbling manager got the pictures back from her retirement party. There was this group shot of all of us, and I was there, front and just off-center.

I? Am that cat. :(

I had no idea. OMG, I was about ten times bigger than everyone else. I was huge. Mind you, I knew I'd gained, and when I look down at the keyboard, I can feel some extra flesh in the chin area, but I had no idea that it was THAT bad!

I was horrified. Suddenly, stuff started to make sense.

Like when the outgoing manager was telling me that some people had seen me at a meeting and didn't realize it was me. She told me that they didn't think it was the same person, and she said that my hair is dark now, whereas before it was lighter and had a lot of blonde hightlights. And I was...yeah, the hair was lighter.

Now I know why she paused. :(

And when I came home and I said to DH that I should start exercising and I need to lose weight, he didn't say "You're perfect the way you are" like he has said so many times over the past eleven years. He just didn't really say anything.

So, that's it, folks. I'm fat. I'm the fat cat that walks across your friends kitchen to shrieks of laughter.

What the fuck are you looking at, humans? Never seen a fat cat before? Huh? HUH?


So now what am I going to do? Lose weight? OMG that just sucks so bad. I HATE diets. I LOATHE exercise.


How did this happen? All the fast food joints? The wine? The beer? Eating out because it's quicker and easier? Too much TV? Not enough exercise? Winter? Spring? WHY can't it go away as fast as it arrives?

And you know what really sucks? They're going to blow up the friggin picture and hang it at work. So, for years to come, there I will be, staring out from the wall, with a look on my face that says "what the fuck are you looking at, human?"

(Actually, the look on my face is one of complete naivete. I had no idea I was looking so well-fed.)

*waddles away*


At 1:45 AM, Blogger mm said...

First of all, {{hugs}}

Let me tell you, there are not many women who will read and not completely understand.

If anything, focus on getting healthier, as opposed to losing weight. Maybe add lots of healthy things daily, as opposed to taking away things, right now.

Start slow, and remember, there are zillions of women who look at you, just the way you are, and wish they could be so lucky.

At 7:39 AM, Blogger ~Nutz said...

Oh Friskers! {{{hugs}}}

I agree with what MM said. Just go for healthier. Skip that yucky fast food stuff and eat more greens... err... catnip!

At 9:31 AM, Blogger Lasann said...

LOL - I'm sorry.

I am the exact same way. Now I know the size pants I buy but I think that I cover the extra weight quite skillfully. Then someone snaps a picture or I get a look in the mirror from the side.

OMG, who is that? I ask myself.

Your description of the cat, my fat cat, was just priceless. I have carrots and apples in my work fridge. At least I took the first step and bought them.

At 7:37 PM, Blogger momma said...


Hi Frisky! I haven't seen you around in Then you popped up in Catt's blog and well...I had to come over and say hi.

Now, about this fat cat business. *shakes head* You know what they say about fat cats, right? They live fat, happy lives.

At 4:17 PM, Blogger HistoryDetective said...

Yeah, I agree with the others. Focus on being healthier instead of losing weight. I know from experience that the weight can really just sneak up on you. I was looking at some photos from Christmas earlier today, photos that back then convinced me to start getting into better shape.

Good luck --- but just remember: most of us have never seen you in person before. We love Frisque for the person that she is, not for the body she inhabits. That is not going to change whether you are fat or thin or somewhere in between.

At 1:52 PM, Blogger Schnookie said...

I felt that way last year when I saw pics of me at my 25th HS reunion. I had spent so much time trying to look good for it and I thought I did. Then I saw the pics and realized I'm still fat *sigh*

Agree with what everyone has said already. Start eating healthier. I learned that from the South Beach diet. Eat whole grain pasta instead of processed. Eat whole grain breads. It really does help.

At 9:03 AM, Blogger Surveysez said...

Just like everyone says, healthy is the way to go.

I don't suppose lightening your hair again would make you feel better?

At 1:40 PM, Blogger kim (weltek) said...

I gained back 7 of the 15 lbs I'd lost since November. Gah! I need to work on my eating again. It's getting back to rather piggish. I HAVE been excercising more. Still not enough (ball 2-3 x per week & walking 3 times/week).

So I hear ya.

I'm sure you don't look nearly as "fat" as you think, however, for your health, just try to eat less fast food & booze. One thing at a time helps me.

At 1:47 PM, Blogger Glowie said...

Grisky! I know what you mean. I hate having my picture taken. *hug*

At 6:55 PM, Blogger miamicatt said...

God you and I have so much in common sometimes it freaks me out.

I echo the other sentiments above. Get HEALTHY...not thin. And I'll tell you why...

If you are anything like me, and I think we've established by now that you are haha, once you lose a shit-ton of weight and reach your goal? Guess'll find somethin' else that needs fixin'. Oh no, now I have wrinkles. Oh no, now my skin isn't tan enough. An endless cycle...

By concentrating on your health, you'll lose weight naturally by default. You'll FEEL better and by extension you'll look better and you'll feel better about the way you look. Body AND mind will be in sync...and be healthy. :-)


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