A Rebuttal - for friends

Note: the following post was edited during Monday morning cleansing. I was really pissed off when I typed it out, but now I'm sobererer and would like to sound like it. So now, on with the show...

>Love is being decent and honest and kind and honorable. Love is being respectful and
trustworthy.

This definition of "love" should go in the biggest, most expensive mother-effin dictionary in print.

Honestly, I totally believe it.

It? Was written by an anonymous person in response to my last blog post.

To that person, who identified themselves as "disgusted," I would like to address your questions.

How would I feel if it were my husband? Well, I would be pissed. I would be hurt, pissed, disgusted. It would totally destroy my entire world (well, if I realy loved the guy).

Would I want to save our relationship? Hell, no.

There's nothing to save, disgusted.

If he's in love with someone else, he's gone. He's gone.

What's to save? A loveless relationship? In your words:

>Love is being decent and honest and kind and honorable. Love is being respectful and trustworthy.

Let's look at this statement.

Decent: no, it is not decent to cheat on your spouse. No, it is not decent to live with another woman/man while claiming to love the person on the outside of the relationship. Is it decent to love another? Yes. Love = Decent. Love isn't planned. It just happens. If you've ever been really in love, you'd know this already.

Honest: Honesty is leaving when you're in love with someone else. Honesty does not mean that you should stay with someone who does not make you happy. You have to be honest with yourself before you can even think of being honest with the rest of the friggin world.

Kind: The kindest thing that dingus can do in this case is to set his wife free to find the person who was truly meant to be her lover.

"honourable, respectful, trustworthy" brak brak brak. Grow up. When you grow up and get a brain, you'll learn. I'd be wasting my time and energy tapping out a response. Life is so much more complicated than this Sunday school shit.

The point of my previous post was that you cannot help who you fall in love with. No, I didn't mean that when you feel attracted to someone that you should screw them. People who have looked into another's eyes and felt that *zap* of recognition, and know immediately that this person is going to play a huge role in your life before you even hear them speak, those are the folks who are supporting this relationship.

It may surprise you to learn that I support the wife, too. She should be free to find that spark that she doesn't get with him. If she were my daughter/sister/friend, no way would I sentence her to a lifelong loveless marriage just to protect the sanctity of MARRIAGE. That makes no sense, disgusted. How is that a caring parent? "Save your marriage." What are you saving when there's no love? A facade? A public image of a happy, perfect union? A false sense of security and suppressed pain? Woohoo. Good times.

Go congregate with all the other people in your little world who follow G-d's law and who live the perfect life while aching inside and wanting it to end.

As for children, many of them come from broken homes where mommy and daddy are still together. What's a broken home to you? Two happy parents living separately? To me, it's miserable people stuck in miserable marriages. Kids know. They pick up on it. You're staying together because of me. I'm the cause of your unhappiness. What's so honourable and respectful about that?

Get out from under mommy and daddy's roof and learn. Get some life experience so you'll be able to offer intelligent, insightful advice instead of this textbook crap you're reciting. If you're already out, and you're living with a husband or wife, then I think we know what you're life is like. No wonder you're bitter.