Monday, April 24, 2006

A Rebuttal - for friends

Note: the following post was edited during Monday morning cleansing. I was really pissed off when I typed it out, but now I'm sobererer and would like to sound like it. So now, on with the show...

>Love is being decent and honest and kind and honorable. Love is being respectful and

This definition of "love" should go in the biggest, most expensive mother-effin dictionary in print.

Honestly, I totally believe it.

It? Was written by an anonymous person in response to my last blog post.

To that person, who identified themselves as "disgusted," I would like to address your questions.

How would I feel if it were my husband? Well, I would be pissed. I would be hurt, pissed, disgusted. It would totally destroy my entire world (well, if I realy loved the guy).

Would I want to save our relationship? Hell, no.

There's nothing to save, disgusted.

If he's in love with someone else, he's gone. He's gone.

What's to save? A loveless relationship? In your words:

>Love is being decent and honest and kind and honorable. Love is being respectful and trustworthy.

Let's look at this statement.

Decent: no, it is not decent to cheat on your spouse. No, it is not decent to live with another woman/man while claiming to love the person on the outside of the relationship. Is it decent to love another? Yes. Love = Decent. Love isn't planned. It just happens. If you've ever been really in love, you'd know this already.

Honest: Honesty is leaving when you're in love with someone else. Honesty does not mean that you should stay with someone who does not make you happy. You have to be honest with yourself before you can even think of being honest with the rest of the friggin world.

Kind: The kindest thing that dingus can do in this case is to set his wife free to find the person who was truly meant to be her lover.

"honourable, respectful, trustworthy" brak brak brak. Grow up. When you grow up and get a brain, you'll learn. I'd be wasting my time and energy tapping out a response. Life is so much more complicated than this Sunday school shit.

The point of my previous post was that you cannot help who you fall in love with. No, I didn't mean that when you feel attracted to someone that you should screw them. People who have looked into another's eyes and felt that *zap* of recognition, and know immediately that this person is going to play a huge role in your life before you even hear them speak, those are the folks who are supporting this relationship.

It may surprise you to learn that I support the wife, too. She should be free to find that spark that she doesn't get with him. If she were my daughter/sister/friend, no way would I sentence her to a lifelong loveless marriage just to protect the sanctity of MARRIAGE. That makes no sense, disgusted. How is that a caring parent? "Save your marriage." What are you saving when there's no love? A facade? A public image of a happy, perfect union? A false sense of security and suppressed pain? Woohoo. Good times.

Go congregate with all the other people in your little world who follow G-d's law and who live the perfect life while aching inside and wanting it to end.

As for children, many of them come from broken homes where mommy and daddy are still together. What's a broken home to you? Two happy parents living separately? To me, it's miserable people stuck in miserable marriages. Kids know. They pick up on it. You're staying together because of me. I'm the cause of your unhappiness. What's so honourable and respectful about that?

Get out from under mommy and daddy's roof and learn. Get some life experience so you'll be able to offer intelligent, insightful advice instead of this textbook crap you're reciting. If you're already out, and you're living with a husband or wife, then I think we know what you're life is like. No wonder you're bitter.


At 3:29 AM, Blogger mm said...

In response to this, from the original comment;

I have a feeling the story you two are telling everyone isn't the whole story.

So what? They don't have to share any of it, and certainly can share only the parts they want to. I would bet there are definitely parts they aren't sharing, but you know what? I'm grateful that they're sharing what they are. None of it is anybody's business, and the fact that they are sharing helps me understand them better, and also reinforces the fact that everybody goes through tough times, and has to make tough choices. Until someone has been in their position, you cannot possibly know what they're going through.

There were many other things that needed responded to and I think Frisky did a beautiful job doing that, but for some reason, that one sentence just irked the hell out of me.

At 10:06 AM, Blogger miamicatt said...

It made me laugh...because the only person that doesn't know the whole story is Disgusted herself. So I guess I could see why she'd say that. :P

I should have worn a different outfit...this scarlet letter totally doesn't go with these pants...

At 11:16 AM, Blogger Lasann said...

After posting on Catt's blog I wanted to comment further. I think this is the place.

All of us have been: hurt, lied to, cheated on, lost love ones, ruined good relationships, made friends, lost friends, been accepted, been rejected. Lots of us have: cheated, hurt others, lied to others, had good relationships ruined. Some of us have been abused.

This is called life.

A good, true relationship can not be cracked. A cracked relationship is a relationship waiting to be changed.

Disgusted, I don't think you know the facts. The supposed injured party in this, imho, has caused the crack in this relationship. The supposed injured party has to live with their mistakes and/or cruelity.

The main thing I learned from this is to treasure your loved ones/friends every day. Honor them, tell them they are loved, give of yourself to them for their comfort and needs.

Judgement day will come for all of us. I just believe that the kind, loving, understanding, non-judgemental people will come out on top.

Right vs wrong. There are few definates. Do not cause harm to others is one. You have tried to cause harm but our shielding arms will deflect your evil.

As for telling the whole story on OT, why would anyone do that? Why would anyone what it done?

And in closing, as I ask my boys when they are being irrational -

What is your major malfunction?

At 12:57 PM, Blogger BlindSlim~CSTL said...

What frisky said....

Furthermore, not that it's any of Disgusted's business, when Catt and Dingus did come out to everyone about their feelings for one another, they opened to floor for those who didn't approve or wanted to scorn them to do so at that time. If Disgusted was so concerned about everything, that would have been the time to say something, not now. So that tells me that this isn't about Catt and Dingus at all but about Disgusted and her own problems.

At 2:17 PM, Blogger Lasann said...

I wrote a stunning prolific comment and blogger ate it. If it doesn't show up later, maybe I'll try to recreate it. If not, I'll say what mm said *looks up*.

At 5:47 PM, Blogger mysticwolf said...

Frisky is a wise, wise, cat. *headbutt*

At 11:15 PM, Blogger frisky said...

Like I said, I edited because I was so mad when I originally wrote my post that I let my own emotions direct the way I was responding to someone else's opinion/actions/etc. I'll leave that to disgusted.

Although I chose my words more carefully, the message remains the same: What disgusted wants us all to do is live a lie. Pretend that everything is just peachy while you're dying inside. That, according to disgusted, is the right thing to do.

Poor disgusted.

At 12:39 AM, Blogger miamicatt said...

Way to go, Frisky.

Disgusted's message to me got lost in her anger and dislike of me. But I heard it -- and perhaps she is right to a certain extent. He and I could have shown a little more self-control...we could have waited a few months...we could have done things differently. But it didn't happen that way and I can't go back and fix it now.

We could have kept it all a secret and then "came out" at a later time with a nice story to make everyone feel warm and fuzzy. But then we would have been lying to all of you, our friends. And THAT? I couldn't do.

It's not ideal I know that...but given all of the circumstances and what I have learned, it happened this way for a reason. I'm not going to beat myself up about it anymore or be ashamed about how we feel about each other.

Fortunately, my real friends aren't asking me to.

At 12:25 PM, Blogger "Indifferent" said...


It has just come to my attention through a friend -- who shall remain anonymous -- that a few people have asked if I am "disgusted" who has apparently left messages about MiamiCatt and JIMBO.

For the record, I am not "disgusted" - either the blogger or actually feeling disgusted by the situation.

I am INDIFFERENT to your DRAMA. ALl of you!

I much perfer "DHARMA".

(Look it up, and have a nice life.)


The former "DooWahDitty"

P.S. I will not be returning here to read your comments, so don't delude yourselves that you can offend me or hurt my feelings!

P.P.S. What makes some of you think that "disgusted" is a "she" as mentioned in CSTL's comment?

At 12:56 PM, Blogger "Indifferent" said...

I do know how to spell "prefer".

And start looking around to see who your little defector is, snce "disgusted" is not me - so you can go and persecute them for speaking their mind. Obviously, they don't want their identity known, so they can remain in your good graces. (As if that's somewhere something desirable!) Have fun figuring it all out!

I dare you "disgusted", to out yourself! Show some cojones!


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