How do I love thee?

"Let me count the ways." "I shall love thee more after death." It's my favourite poem, and I only know part of two lines -- the beginning and the end. Maybe it's because that's all that is important -- the beginning and the end. How we get away from something and how we get to something is not really important, is it? The rambling lines in between the beginning and the end is just Elizabeth going on and on and on and these lines aren't really important, are they? The point is, Robert, I love you, and I will love you always. That's all she's saying!

So why can't I say something, I love you, and become a legend, like Elizabeth? Why can't I put words together --- fill in the blanks between the beginning and the end --- and make so much money I'll never have to work again? Why can't I find that voice that I had in high school, that voice that my teachers heard, telling them that I was going to be a literary star? Where is it? I can't even find the beginning of that voice, let alone the end and then have the ability and the imagination required to stuff a bunch of words in the middle.

See, I'm writing as I'm thinking. And I'm thinking...of nothing. Except finding a beginning which will lead me to an end --- preferably an end in which I am rolling in money.

I think my problem is that I haven't really written since high school, since I wrote those brilliant papers that earned me some praise. A few times, I've been mad enough at my spouse to pound out about three pages worth of swear words, but nothing more.

So, this weblog, this public record of my thoughts, will be my sketchpad. Hopefully, here, I'll find my beginning.